quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize