Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
