I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
