please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
