is your mom at the bar?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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