she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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