don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
