lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
