Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
