Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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