On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
