is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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