I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
