Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize