Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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