I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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