Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
