Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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