God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
