I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
