I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
