just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
