Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize