SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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