we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So vagazzling was a success
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
