My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
