Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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