yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
