You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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