carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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