How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Randomize