hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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