i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize