Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I puked a lego.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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