I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Can I color on your dick again?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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