dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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