you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
