Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
