I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
