and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hippo gnu deer
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
