Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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