do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize