i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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