Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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