why didn't you poke me back
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
