I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
