Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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