It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize