At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
