I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
