"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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