I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
being pregnant is like rehab
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
