i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
