I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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