Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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