then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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