I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
