Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
