Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
