She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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