I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
