Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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