i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
