fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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