yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
