Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize